Woman: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Cop: Ma’am, you were speeding…
Woman: Oh, right.
Cop: I’m going to have to ask to see your license.
Woman: I’d love to show you it but I haven’t got one.
Cop: What do you mean?!
Woman: I haven’t got one.
Woman: Yeah, I’ve been arrested for drink driving maybe three or four times. I’ve not had a license for years.
Cop: Show me your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t.
Cop: And why not?
Woman: I stole this here car.
Cop: You did what?!
Woman: Yeah, this car’s stolen. Oh, and I killed the owner. Shot him and hacked up his body. He’s in bits, wrapped up in plastic and in the trunk. You can have a look if you like.
On hearing this, the officer backs up to his car and calls for assistance. Within minutes, there are five cars surrounding the woman. A second officer approaches the car, with his handgun drawn.
Cop #2: Ma’am, step out of the vehicle!
The woman emerges from her car. ‘Is there a problem, sir?’
Cop #2: My colleague says that you’ve stolen this car and murdered the owner. There are body parts in the trunk…
Cop #2: Open the trunk!
She opened the trunk, revealing nothing but a spare tyre and a lot of empty space.
Cop #2: Ma’am? Is this your car?
Woman: Of course it is.
And with that, she produced her vehicle registration papers.
Cop #2: And how about a license? Do you have a license?
Woman: Of course I do! What exactly is all this about???
Searching in her bag, the woman found her licence and handed it over to the second cop for inspection.
Cop #2: Ma’am, my colleague says you have no license or registration, stole this car, killed the owner and hacked him up…
Woman: I bet the lying sonofabitch told you I was speeding too!